My grandson is moving away. It’s not his idea, of course. The other grandmother offered space in her home and her house is bigger than mine, plus it’s my son-in-law’s hometown and he wants to be around his family for a change. Can’t argue with that. But I will miss our little apprentice and all his noise around the house.

I will not miss Black Cat, she who knocks things off of tables and bats them around floors, creeps into the kitchen when no one is looking and steals food, and terrorizes my cat Lily, who is twice Black Cat’s size. Some of you may have met Black Cat during a visit. She’s ridiculously social with humans and rubs up on anything that smells remotely personal (purses, backpacks, shoes) so any other cats will know you belong to her now.

I will miss my daughter and son-in-law, but they’re old enough to be far away so that’s fine.

Something I am looking forward to is more time to think. There’s rarely any silence in my life unless it’s during a long cross country drive where I can’t get a signal for streaming podcasts (much of the Southwest comes to mind). In the silence I can let my mind actually do its job without distraction. The only problem is I can’t always pull over and write things down, but sometimes I do. When I think of my “happy place” for writing, it’s usually somewhere in the high desert.

My husband the school teacher has requested I volunteer at his school to help students work on reading and writing. I did that when my kids were in grade school and I know it helps, so I’m on board with the idea. If I have too much time to myself it tends to lead me into Deep Thoughts Which Serve No Good Purpose so yes, actively working with kids in need would be a better use of my time and head space, I think.

Something I have been running up against, rather like a bee in a jar, is the feeling that I can’t work with other people. I especially resist working for other people, but lately it seems even 50/50 partnerships are iffy (not with my husband, we’re solid). I don’t cherish being a boss, either. So where does that put me? Solidly back in self-employment and starring in my own role as whatever I feel like being on a given day.

My stint with the tour company is at an end so I won’t be in Japan this January for the first time in a few years. That feels weird. But I was there on three separate trips in 2019 so it’s time for a break. I need to spend more time with my family. Honestly, I do. The kids and grandkid will be gone soon, off to the east coast. I have to be ready for that. There’s also a big quilt show (Road to California) my husband would otherwise be working on his own, and it’s bad enough he’s taking time off from work to be there. Now I can be there, too.

Soon I’ll be back to travel writing, sewing, teaching, and everything else that needs to be done. Laundry folding, that’s a thing. And weed pulling. Learning how to be a long distance grandma. I can do these things. With time, practice, and a lot of coffee, (nearly) all things are possible.